And so...I am Peter Pan

I love Peter Pan! He and Cinderella were the two characters first introduced to me by my mom. Their story books were the first among my collections. And just a week ago, when I cleaned my cabinet, I saw them side by side- just the way I kept them a few years back. Without meaning to, I took my Peter Pan book and read it- as if I'm 4 years old again. And as I turn the pages, happy thoughts filled my mind and happy feelings crawled to my body - all the way to my lips- until I gave in and flashed a smile. If you were there with me inside my bedroom, you're going to think I was going crazy.

Why do I love Peter Pan? I am counting the ways. I said I love Cinderella because she's beautiful, kind, pure, patient, loving and she has a very nice dress. Also, Cinderella taught me how to dream and believe that dreams come true. I adore her so much that when I turned 18, I imitated her. I copied her dress, her hairstyle, her song but not her shoes- as it was very hard to find a similar glass shoe.

Peter Pan...Peter Pan...Why do I love thee?

My story book has 10 pages only. And in just ten pages, it was able to tell about Peter and Wendy's first meeting, their flying adventure, coming to Neverland, meeting the lost boys, Tinker bell's death and Peter Pan's fight against Captain Hook and of course I would never forget the crocodile with the ticking clock.

A very brief story illustrated in colorful pictures. It delighted me when I was four and it continues to delight me up to this date.

I remember, I used to watch Peter Pan cartoon in Abs Cbn every 4pm when I was in elementary. Funny because it was translated in Tagalog. I would rush home from school, would throw my bag in my bed, would sit and turn on the TV and find something to munch- while my mom was scolding at my side for not doing my assignments first. Of course I still got good grades :) Others might think I prefer Wendy. It is my mom's name by the way and I love my mom. But in this story, it was Peter Pan who I liked and not the female lead.

Right now, I have 1 Peter Pan Betamax, 1 Peter Pan VHS and 2 Peter Pan VCD. I am still looking for a DVD.

Now why do I love Peter Pan? I love him at first because he can fly and when I was a kid, I dreamed of flying. But Peter is naughty, selfish, forgetful, over confident and self-centered. Not an ideal kid.

Recently, I saw a Peter Pan book. Not a 10 page storybook but a 185 page novel by the famous J.M. Barrie. I was surprised- because I am used to my little bright story book with big pictures. When I saw the novel, I immediately thought "Is there something I still don't know about Peter?" So, I bought it.

I finished the book in a couple of days. And this time, instead of a joyful feeling, it was sadness that crawled to my body. Yes, I got the full details - I got to know more about Nana- the nurse dog of the Darling family, Mr. Darling's strict behavior and Mrs. Darling's loving attitude. And Captain Hook's soul is not at all black. He has a sweet quality deep inside him. He just can't resist hating Peter.

Peter Pan is the boy who will never grow up. He doesn't want to grow up. He hates to be called "man". He is happy on his own without a parent. He thinks a father and a mother would only limit his freedom. But he loved it when Wendy took care of him - by preparing his medicine, washing his clothes, cooking him food, telling him bedtime stories and tucking him every night.He just thought he didn't need a parent when obviously he's craving for one. He is living happily in Neverland- the place where you can eat delicious food while playing with the mermaids, and get saved by a Neverbird when you are too weak to fly and do so much fun things and adventures - all of these are but a creation of "make believe"

I appreciated the novel so much even though it was written without colorful pictures because this time I used my imagination. I felt every emotion and I understood Peter's true self.

We may all think Peter Pan is very childish as he doesn't want to grow up. He may like fun things but after reading the novel you would learn that he actually has a mature mind. He just doesn't want to admit it. He is caring and he is brave. He won't mind saving his friends even if it kills him. Of course, he loves the attention but it's just part of his act as a kid. He may act carefree but in truth he fears the day Wendy, John and Michael would return to their home. He pretended to be indifferent but he felt so sad when they left Neverland. He hid his feelings because he doesn't want to hold them back and hurt them. He knows when to let go. He knows that when you love you have to sometimes make a sacrifice.

The saddest part was when he returned to the home of Wendy and he found her all grown up and married. I am not numb so tears formed in the corner of my eyes and I had to exert an effort to prevent it from dropping because people might think something's wrong with me. But I am feeling the exact emotion of Peter. Like him, I don't want to grow up. Not because I'm scared of responsibilities and commitments. Kids have their responsibilities too. Like Peter, I am not scared to die either. For him, it's another adventure. For me, it's the only way to meet Jesus. It's the fact that people around me are growing old too that scared me. People who I love. People who might go ahead of me. I fear the day we would all be too old and we would be forgetful. Too old to laugh and play and run and jump and think of simple things and appreciate simple pleasures. I fear the day people dear to me would grow old and weak but would soon reach the finish line and they would leave me still running in a race.

In the story, Peter is forgetful and he can adapt to changes quickly. But I doubt if he really is. Maybe like me, he's just pretending to adapt when in truth he still prefers the old life with all the good memories he has before Wendy and her brothers left Neverland.

I love Peter Pan, because I fear what he fears and I like what he likes.
And just like him...I am still a kid.




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