15 years ago, a white little poodle came to our lives. I believe God sent him to us as a gift...Yes he's a gift...But 2 months ago, something terrible happened.
Early morning of November 15, 2015 our little poodle died. It was and still a very shocking incident.
It's not his time yet. He's not supposed to die. Not this year. Not next year. He's so healthy!
And he don't want to live. He still want to run and jump and play some more with my other dogs.
But...my papa accidentally ran him over with our car. He didn't know that our Aga was taking a nap under our car in the garage.
If only I could turn back the time... If only i was there to save him. I have so many regrets! I blame myself.
After being a faithful and loyal dog to us...we killed him. This memory would always hunt me.
I don't have any way of forgetting what happened...because i don't want to forget.
If only God would give me a chance to hug Aga again and say sorry...
For now, I survive by remembering my happy memories of him.
•I remember the day he arrived in our family 15 years ago. He's a gift of the pet shop owner where we bought 2 dogs for my grandfather. The owner said "for free...a gift"
•I remember waking up and seeing him in our kitchen for the first time. He's so small and white. He looked so scared. I took him and hugged him. I wanted to name him "Archie" but my mama said we should call him "AGA"
•I remember seeing him running in our garage. Inviting our old family dog "mikee" to play. But mikee was so jealous of him. She didn't want to play with him.
•Everyday he would try and try to play with mikee. Sometimes he's lucky sometimes not.
•I remember seeing him in his first cage. That cage originally belonged to our dog who died already. He did not complain. He loved his cage although it's old and smelly. He'a just happy that he has his own house.
•I remember him always trying to get inside our house. That's what he really wanted...to be with us ...to sleep with us but my mama kept him outside in a cage because he would pee everywhere. He accepted this fact with no hard feelings. But he tried and tried again. He's always happy and excited whenever there's a chance to roam inside our house.
•I remember him jumping up and down inside his cage everytime we'll arrive from school, work or somewhere. He's always excited to greet us.
•When I was still a student, I often leave the house in the morning and come home at dinner time. Aga would patiently wait for me and would greet me as I arrive. I would greet him too by saying "hi aga" then, i would go inside our house and do my assignments or watch TV. I spent very little time with him then... Not checking if he ate or if he's drinking clean water. Still, he was patient and did not complain. He's ready to show affection whenever I'm near him.
•I remember him sleeping in his dark cage. It's dirty and smelly. I was too busy to tell our helper to keep it clean. Instead of hating me, he would greet me happily every time i visit him.
•New puppies and cats came. Instead of being jealous, he played with them and loved them. He's always there beside me whenever i'm taking care of my other pets...like giving them vitamins or medicines. He's there beside me as if to assist me or help me. He's my little nurse.
•I remember him being quiet whenever we have a problem at home. It's his way of saying..."i don't want to be a burden. But i'm here if you need me."
•He's always quick to know when I'm sad or happy. He's angry when I'm angry and happy when I'm happy. He always support me.
•I remember those 2 times we lost him because of our irresponsible helper. Our helper forgot to close the gate and he went out. Thank God, his angels brought Aga back. He's so smart, he recognized the sound of our car as we passed at the house of the person who took him. He barked loudly to call us. Because of that, we got him back.
•I remember putting medicine on his wound when our neighbor's dog bit him. He was in so much pain but he let me clean and put medicine on his wound. He showed me that he trust me.
•I remember the first time we brought him to a grooming salon. He's so scared. He didn't enjoy riding our car. He didn't enjoy being with other people. He's so nervous. He enjoyed being groomed though. He loved his new look! But that's the first and last time we brought him far from our home. He's our little homebody:)
•I remember the first time I tried grooming him. I accidentally cut his skin. It bleed and i knew it's painful. He let me know he's hurt by moving away from me but after a few seconds he sat beside me again. He forgave so easily. I loved him more after that. I promised him I would be more careful.
•I remember the second time I groomed him. He just sat and waited patiently while i carefully cut his hair. He's so relaxed. He really trust me. I am thankful for that. His grooming session with me became our bonding moment.
•I remember him running happily in the garage and inside our home every time he has a new haircut. He wants to show off his new look. He knows it when he looks cool!
•I remember buying him a Superman shirt. He loved it immediately. Everytime he's wearing it, he'll run and run around the house...looking happy and proud. He loves showing his Superman shirt to every one. He loves to hear hear us say "oh you're wearing your Superman shirt...you look so cute and cool aga!" It's the time of his life :)
•I remember him waiting and jumping outside our kitchen door every time he knows my mama is cooking liver and chicken for him. He's so excited! Liver and chicken are his favorites.
•I remember buying him Pedigree savory chicken every week. He loves it! He couldn't stop jumping...So excited to eat pedigree every lunch time.
•I remember how he loves "Smart Heart" dog food. It used to be his favorite kibble until he tries Acana lamb and apple. He has good taste!
•I remember the time I let him borrow my Snowball's cage so he can get out of his filthy old cage. He's so appreciative. He loved the cage. Although it's small...he still appreciated his "new house".
•I remember the day I bought him a brand new light blue dog house. He looked so happy! The house was too big for him but he loved it. He loved that he can sleep in any comfortable position. I made sure there's plenty of space for him. He also enjoyed his new bed and pillow. Although I spent a lot...I bought it for Aga to show him that although there are so many of them...he's still my no.1 and he deserves that "big house." His very own house.
•I remember buying him a new leash and collar. He loved them! I like buying him stuffs because he's so appreciative. He loved all my gifts!
•I remember him acting like a supervisor everytime my other big dogs and cats are playing. He's their "little boss". He's always there to assist me when I need to stop my big dogs from playing because they're too rowdy.
•I remember him jumping up and down beside me while I make their food every morning. I remember his excited bark. He won't stop jumping and barking not until I give him his breakfast. I always feed him first...to show my big dogs that he's the boss and they shouldn't fight with him.
•I remember him acting like a referee everytime two of my big dogs would fight. I get scared everytime he do that. He don't like it when my big dogs and cats fight. He's our little peacemaker.
•I remember how my big dogs would follow him. They all love him. He gets along with everyone including my cats.
•I remember him pretending to sleep everytime he knows it's his bath time. He don't like it. But he loves to play in the rain.
•I remember him looking and feeling good after his bath time. He would run and run and run.
•I remember watching him having a nap after a delicious lunch.
•I remember giving him body and head massage whenever i can. He loved it! He would not demand it but he would show me that he wants a massage and would be thankful if i give him one.
•I remember giving him belly rubs. He liked it a lot!
•I remember him running towards me every time I would call his name. He knows my voice.
•I remember him going inside the house of my cats. He visits them whenever he can.
•I remember him courting our big dog. Though he would often get a big growl it did not stop him from pursuing her. I am the one stopping him because he's too small for her.
•I remember my one year old shihtzu (winter) giving him a kiss and inviting him to play. They look so cute.
•I remember him hiding everytime he knows it's "brush" teeth time. I told him many times he needs it to keep his teeth strong but he would still try his best to avoid it.
•I remember him coming to me...sitting beside me whenever I'm outside..either reading or studying. He would come to me... Would sit down beside me and would stare at me. It's his way of getting a head massage from me.
•I remember how I easily panic every time he would not eat...I would instantly give him Pedigree and all his favorite food.
•I remember the time he had fever...I carried him to comfort him. Then, I placed a hot water bottle on his bed to keep him warm and gave him Vit. C. He never asked...he never demanded...but he looked so satisfied and happy that I'm taking care of him. I love taking care of him. He's a good patient.
•I remember that morning when I heard him barking so loud...waking me up...telling me that he's fine already. He's telling me that his fever is gone. He always remind me that God is our healer.
•I remember scolding him everytime he takes a nap under our car. He pretends not to hear anything.
•I remember scolding him everytime he sleeps outside his house. I don't want him to get dirty or get sick because the floor will make him cold.
•I remember him getting mad at my Sophie (our pug) when she's too rowdy. He's really a good brother to my 8 other dogs.
•I remember that he's the only one who is not afraid of a blow dryer. All my dogs and cats hates it because of the noise.
•I remember how easy and obedient he is in taking his medicines when he's sick. He takes his vitamins everyday too. Although he don't like the taste, he still takes it.
I can't type every memory I have of him. I thank God for those 15 beautiful years we have with Aga. I thank God I have so many memories of him to remember every time I miss him. 15 years sounds like "many years" but for me 15 years is not enough. I am not yet tired taking care of him. I want to hug him more. I want to spend more time with him.
I don't know for how long I'll be like this. I see him everyday for 15 years. I am having a hard time adjusting my life now. A life without our little superhero. Maybe God will help me heal my pain. Maybe time can erase the regrets I have now. But one thing is for sure...there will be no day that I will stop thinking of my Aga. There's no other dog like him. He's truly God's gift to us.
This comforts me though....knowing that he's now with Mikee again. I am sure Mikee is happy to see him. I bet he's playing with Snowball and Winter too. Someday, I will see them again.
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