2012 Surprised me

2012 was definitely not a boring year for me.
It gave me a "roller coaster ride" of emotions
My stress level reached its peak
My tear ducts overflowed
My heart almost stopped beating
No exaggeration here...
2012 really surprised me. a lot.
On few boring days, I felt numb.

Surprise! Surprise!
- I never liked my birthday. It's not my favorite time of the year.
Who wants to get old? Certainly not me. And also because...every birthday of mine ends in a sad or bad way. Either someone forgets, i ate the wrong food, it's a weekday, someone special is sick or too busy and other tricks to ruin the day.
But this year, I had a real and unexpected "happy birthday" -
celebrated three times in three different ways with three different groups of people - my friends, my dad's family and my mom's family.
Usually, my family members just call or post Facebook greetings on my wall. But this year, they attended my "party" and greeted me in person. Thanks to my grandpa (mom's side) and to my grandma (dad's side). They made my 2012 birthday celebration extra special. I was surprised to see myself enjoying my birthday.

- Second surprise...I am still alive. Breathing. I am supposed to die after my birthday...according to four fortune tellers - Filipino, Chinese, Japanese and Korean. Yup, I received four translations of my "life reading". You're wrong if you're thinking that I visited those fortune tellers and had my palm read. I met them while traveling. I met them while buying souvenirs, eating in a restaurant and talking to a friend who lives there. They are old, over friendly and willing to read my palm (or my face) for free. They asked for my birth date too. Freaky and weird. I didn't want to be rude so I entertained them. And all of them said the same thing...I am going to die soon. I have a very short life. I was 22 when I met a Hong Kong Lady while buying some souvenirs. She came up to me and asked if she could read my palm and what's my birth date. I didn't want to be rude, so I obliged. She said, death is always following me. (Cool! I have a stalker). I freaked out at first. "I am going to die!" But after hearing a Filipino and Japanese version of my future...I thought, well...why not? Life is not always good and exciting. Death would be a gift. I don't want to grow old anyway. So it's fine. No problem. The Korean version is milder- It just said that I'm going to be really really sick so I should be careful. Since then, I live each day, thinking I'm going to die soon...Sounds stupid. For believing those freaky fortune tellers. Stupid for not trusting God. Still, I feel disappointed.

- Third surprise. I got a job from one of our country's top government agency. Many say I was lucky to get the job. I passed the exam and interview and I got accepted without any help from someone powerful - I don't know anyone inside. I used what I know not who I know. I thought the job was an answered prayer - decent work position, perfect work schedule (no work on weekends and no overtime), nice office and a big salary with lots and lots of bonuses and privileges...a dream job! Well, i thought it's a dream job. But after three days, I discovered that my boss's halo and angel wings are fake! They burned instantly. She came straight from hell to torment innocent people like me. Her sentences begins and ends with bad words. She's a "fat-lying-corrupt-insecure-abusive-loud-mouth-spoiled-brat" monster.

-Fourth surprise. God took my grandfather away. He went to Heaven and left us without saying goodbye. The biggest surprise. Too bad it's not a pleasant one. I lost him in the same month I lost my dear snowball...just after a year. I lost him too in the same way I lost my snowball. He died in the hospital. Vomiting...too much pain...because of kidney failure. His heart gave up. I wasn't there. I was 6 hours away by car. I was in my room. Praying. Asking God to keep his heart beating. Just like my prayer for Snowball...I didn't get an answer. What's the message? What's the reason? Why? All that happened in just one day. No signs. No warnings. At 78, he's still very strong and healthy. Few weeks ago before he died, he called me while I was in Korea...It was early in the morning around 8:00am Manila time... just to tell me to buy him and my grandma bottles of Bvulgari perfume. I thought "wow...couple perfume..cool!" I was surprised. He usually don't do that...call me out of the blue to buy something for him. But I appreciate it. I felt like...like what a grand daughter should feel. I love doing favors for my grandparents...maybe because I seldom see them. I crave for their presence. A week after that call, I saw my grandfather again at my aunt's birthday party. He asked me to sit beside him and I did. We talked about my trip, we joked about my "still- single-when-are-you-getting-married" status" - he said he would love to see his great grandchild soon and he told me to come home with him and help him run the business. I gave him short replies...just a couple of nods and lots of smile...content just to sit beside him. We took photos after dinner and while I was about to kiss him goodbye...he hugged me. I always miss him. So a hug from him is always precious to me. If I only knew that would be the last...I should have talked to him more, hugged him more and maybe get married right then and there so he could see me wearing a wedding gown. If I only knew......When he left, my life became different. Like everything collapsed. My will to succeed is gone. I think because, though I have loving parents, it is my grandfather who appreciate me the most.

- Fifth surprise. I saw my prince again after four long years...after thinking I wouldn't see him again. And this time...he's free.