Remembering a young love

When i was in my first year high school, i was totally head over heels to Jonathan Jackson of Camp No Where.

Then one time, while in the Cafeteria, i saw a guy (same year with me) going down the stairs.
It was his hair that first caught my eyes. I told my friends, "hey he got the same hairstyle with Jonathan Jackson". When he looked up, i was speechless because he looked like "JJ" too. I was 12 then...i have so many crushes when i was young. But that time i told myself..."this guy is different, he's special." I am not quite sure now if it's because he looked like JJ or because of those 5 or 6 precious seconds that he stared back at me.

Luckily, his classroom was just beside ours. Knowing that he is sitting beside the window, i am always in a hurry to pass by. My friends who knew i have a crush on him would always tease me. They would sometimes call his name or my name whenever he or I would pass by each other's classroom.

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My 13th birthday: My friends formally introduced us during our breaktime.

location: Cafeteria

I was holding a cup and he was eating ice cream

No shake hands

We just give each other a nod.
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Our teachers:

Our teachers were also part of this story. They always tease us. My english teacher asked him one time, if he knew me .

He said: Yes, she's already my friend.

How come?

I didn't know.
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His classmate who was my friend that time...told me the "sweetest news" which was: "He has a crush on you too." I hate love songs...i always do...but not that time. Whenever i see him, i feel there's a love song playing on the background.

Ironically, we never talk to each other. No hi or hello. I think we were both shy.

But he knew my number (since my friend gave it to him)

and i knew his number (his friend gave it to me)

But we never talked on the phone too.

Then...we end up to be in the same club..."Math Club".

We became rivals.

For some reason, our teacher would always call him and me at the blackboard...to see who can solve a math problem faster.

We became opponents. not only in Math...but in all subjects.

Mind you...he's really a smart guy.

It became a challenge between us. sort of "now who's smarter, you or me"

Still...we never talk.

Everytime our paths would cross, both of us would bow our heads. Thinking about that now...i think we're both silly. Perhaps because our friends were always teasing us.

We bumped to each other twice or thrice i think...Our heads and body would literally bumped. I don't know what's with him but he's always running when going down the stairs...while I'm going up so naturally we would bump. He would say sorry.
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He was cruel :
While standing at our gymnasium, somebody threw a rolled up paper on my head .
I looked up...there he was. I gave him a questioning look...he just stared.
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Valentines Day...somebody dedicated a song to me but it came from "Anonymous." Up to now...i am still thinking if it was him.

Valentines Day also, our teachers turned our school Auditorium into a "Cinema" just for the special day. We watched "Casper" by Devon Sawa and Christina Ricci. I found Devon cute. I whispered that to my friend. Then some guy sitting behind us said "he's gay". I turned around and saw that it was him who said it.

From then on he was teased by my friends that he's jealous of Devon.

Still...we never talk.

Christmas...we had a party. Each classroom prepared a special performance. Ours was a dance. After the rehearsal...his friend went up to me and gave me a towel. He said, "JJ" asked him to give it to me. I declined but i said "thanks"

We never talk...but we often caught each other "staring."

I think it was our eyes who always do the "talking."

But one time, i caught him talking to my nanny.

I asked my nanny what did he say...my nanny innocently replied "nothing...he just asked for your home address."

That day...i kept on looking at our window just to see if he would come by.

He never did. (that's what i knew) Years later...our driver told me, he came. But i was out.

My mom transferred me to another school on my second year in highschool

I never got to say goodbye to him.

But my friend told me his parents planned to transfer him to same school with me.

So i waited for him from my second to fourth year high...he was never transferred

Whenever our car would pass by his house on the way to my school...i always look at the window

wishing to see him.

I saw him twice.

But he never saw me.

He went to my school to visit some of his friends.

I saw him. He saw me.

We never said hi. We just stared at each other.

Years passed. I never see him again
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First year college:

While having our P.E., i saw him walking in my direction, wearing the same P.E uniform

I was in total shock.

It was like a saw a ghost.

I didn't see him in years....we were 14 when we last see each other.

I wanted to say hi.

He saw me too.

But just like before...we never talk to each other.

I knew he was in shock too.

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My 18th bday:

I sent him an invitation card through a common friend.

I even made him one of my 18 roses.

He's a part of my teenage life so i included him on my list.

He called me for the first time after 5 years.

But it was my mom who answered the phone.

House rules: "no boys allowed even on the phone"

So i did not get to talk to him.

I thought that was it...i thought i lose the chance of speaking to him

But after one day...i got a text message from him.

Again...i was in shock.

His first text message to me: Hi!

My first reply: Who is this?

Second message: ----- (his name)

I did not reply for several minutes.

I didn't know what to say.

My second reply: How did you get my number

Third message: From your friend

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After that...we send text messages to each other everyday.

He asking about my day
Me asking about his day.

Unfortunately...he already has a girlfriend that time.

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He was not able to attend my 18th bday because of some family emergency.

He was apologetic.

He has a girlfriend...but he became a close friend

Asking how I am...

Comforting me when i have problems

He's always there...

I saved all his messages to me.

Then...i lost my phone.

I lost his number....

I never get to talk to him again.

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Now:

While cleaning my room, i saw my old address book. I found his home add and telephone number.

Now i remember him....

I wonder if he's okay...

Is he successful in his field?

Is he still in the Philippines?

Did he marry his girlfriend?

I remember our days...

I can still remember his face

I can still remember my feelings then...

But i am also keeping in mind...that what i am remembering is already a PAST.





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