FOR MY GRANDFATHER...TATAY

Tatay,
If I see you again
I’ll not waste any minute
So many things I want to thank you for
A big part of me is you

When I was young, you gave me puzzles to solve
And Lego toys to build
I didn’t know then that you’re teaching me
How to think wisely, to be patient
And to finish what I started
To set goals and achieve them

You bought me books and
Encouraged me to read a lot
You taught me how to gain knowledge
And to always ask God for wisdom

You taught me how to be successful in life
To always put God first and trust His will
To appreciate His goodness and blessings
To read His word everyday

You taught me how to pray
To not ask but to always give thanks

You encouraged me to travel and see the world
You want me to see how beautiful our world
And how marvelous our God is

Just like you, I love to watch movies
Fiction and fantasy that teaches a lesson or two
Entertaining and inspiring
Another hobby I inherited from you

We listen to different music
And we like different songs
Yet, I still remember the time
I played the piano in front of you
You listened contentedly…
With a smile on your face
I wasn’t the greatest
Still you’re proud of me

You taught me how to be a good person
To love my parents and be a loyal friend
To love my cousins and care for them
To be sincere and humble
Humility should always be with me
Be kind and gentle to please the Lord

You taught me so many things
But there’s one thing you forgot to teach me
How to survive each day I’m missing you
When you’re gone and you didn't say goodbye

I didn’t know that was our last hug
I should have hugged you more
and stayed longer
I should have said "I'm sorry"
for all those times I didn't come
to see you


You don't know how I always long to be with you and Nanay
To spend time with you
I am always thinking... when can I see you again?
Always excited to talk to you
How happy I am when we're together

Now that you’re gone
I survive by pretending you’re still here
And just like before, I will wait again
I will work harder and make you proud
I will remember all those things you taught me
I will try to smile and be happy

But there's one thing that scares me
I hope you will not forget me

Tay, please remember my name
When I get to see you in Heaven
I will hug you and say
It’s me, Camille…your first grandchild.

Will you wait for me?

How I wish I wrote this song...
credits to Kavana

*EXACTLY THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW*


I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together still feels like yesterday
I never thought I'd see
A single day without you,
The things we take for granted,
We can sometimes lose

And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?

Do you remember how it was?
When we never seemed to care,
The days went by so quickly,
'Cause I thought you'd always be there...
And it's hard to let you go,
Though I know that I must try,
I feel like I've been cheated,
'Cause we never said goodbye...

And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?

'Cause I miss you so, and I need to know...
Will you wait for me?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?

And time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me...

MY LIFE AND MY CAT PART 4 ( Dear God, WHY?!)

Dear God,

You can read my thoughts and you can see everything...
I cannot hide anything from you...
I do not have to explain why work became my last priority...
I do not have to justify why I no longer work for success...
I work only because I have to. You will hate me if I'm lazy...
But, I no longer compete...
I am content with what I have...
I have my parents...
I have Snowball...
I am happy...
Everyday is a blessing..
I can breath. I can play...
I feel complete...

Friends and relatives betrayed me...
They never know what loyalty means...
I don't even know if they can really love...
I don't need them anyway...
I have Snowball...
He is my best friend...
I can survive each day because of him...
Trials come and go. They hit me like waves...
and I stand firm with him on my side...
I sometimes cry but then he will look at me,
and I will be reminded of your love...
Snowball reminds me of you all the time...
How loving and faithful you are...
When I look at Snowball, I see good and perfect things...
which only you can give...
I don't feel lonely anymore...

I am happy...I was happy
Then suddenly, you changed everything...
You took my happiness
What did I do wrong?
Did I make you unhappy?
Are you mad at me?
Why do you have to take Snowball away?
Why did you make him sick?
I took care of him...
You saw it with your own eyes...
Why take him away?
Do you need him?
You own everything...
and I only have him...

I never expected you will hurt me like this
I thought you will never betray me
I trusted you...
But what can I do? You are God and I am just a human...
Who am I compared to you...
Who am I that you should care for?

You gave my old life back...
Which I did not ask for...
How can I live my life now?
Tell me, because I don't know how...
You already changed my heart...
Without Snowball, I am alone...
Without him, I lost my purpose
He is my parents'apple of the eye...
our pride and joy
and you took him away...

WHY?

Can you hear me crying? Can you see my tears?
You know everything...You know how I feel...
I cannot understand what happened...
I thought you gave him to me...
Because you wanted him to be with me...
Because I am better when he is with me...

Did you send him only to change me?
I cannot remember borrowing him from you
I asked him from you...
You are the one who gave...
Now I know your power to take...
In just a blink of an eye...Snowball is gone

I will never understand...
But though I feel betrayed, I will still trust you
You are God and I am just a human...
Even I belongs to you...
You run my life according to your will...

I don't know how to live my life now...
I don't know how to start again...
When you see me smile, don't think that I am happy...
I can laugh but don't think that I am glad...
I can pretend because I am human...

I miss Snowball so much...
I am still thankful that he knows I love him...
I cannot understand what happened...
But this I hope...
That someday, when my turn comes...
for me to leave my loved ones

...
You will comfort them...and not leave them unanswered...

I don't know why...I don't know the reason
Perhaps you need Snowball too...
Perhaps you miss him too...
He is yours anyway...now I know...
Thank you Lord for sharing him to me...
He made me happy...It was the best four years of my life...

Dear God,
Can I see him again?
Will you bring me to Heaven?
Will you forgive me?
This I hope and pray
Let me see Snowball again
To run with him...
To play wit him...

This time...forever