Yellow Ribbon

After Michael Jackson, now it's President Cory Aquino.

Why do good people have to die soon?

Everywhere, I see yellow ribbon tied in gates, trees and in windshields. People wear yellow t-shirts. The whole country is mourning.

I was not shocked when she died. Not to be a hypocrite, I already expected her death. How many people survives cancer? Very few. I am sad of course. She's who I call "My President" I was a year old when Senator Ninoy Aquino was assassinated. When Cory became President, I was already a toddler. I could talk and walk but I didn't care what's happening to our country then. My milk was my world. I did not appreciate what she did to fight for our democracy. Because, I couldn't appreciate...yet. During my elementary, our class went to Malacanang as part of our field trip and I read books about Philippine History as our teacher asked us to memorize the time line from President Marcos to President Aquino, the heroic deeds of Senator Ninoy Aquino, and our country's transformation from dictatorship to democratic . But I couldn't fully appreciate...I could only understand. My mom looked proud while telling me awhile ago that she and my dad went to Ninoy's memorial. She brought me along with her. I was on her arms, wearing a "Yellow Ninoy T-shirt", while she and dad made their way through the crowd to pay their respect and see Ninoy for the last time. Of course, I couldn't remember any of it. The yellow t-shirt with Ninoy's face printed in the front and "I love Ninoy" at the back is still safe in my cabinet- small and faded- it may not be as meaningful to me as is to my parents but when I hold it, I know it is precious. And even though I was not yet born during Ninoy's admirable years, I have great respect on him and next to Jose Rizal, he's my favorite hero after I read all the marvelous things he did to our nation.

Today, as Cory's casket is being moved from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral, I am seeing thousands of people on the street, waiting for the truck that carries the casket covered with Philippine Flag. They are wearing black and yellow. They are chanting "Cory! Cory!" they are putting up banners that says "Cory, hindi ka nag-iisa" (Cory, you are not alone). People from offices are throwing yellow confetti. And as the truck nears them, they are pausing to pray and they give respect. It's raining yellow confetti everywhere! It's like a festive. It's amazing. They are giving her respect fit for a queen. The mood is friendly. It's warm and peaceful. It was said that when Cory was alive, she unified all the Filipinos. It's amazing how she can still unify all Filipinos from all walks of life even at her death. The rich and the poor together. I could only watch from our TV but I want to be there. I want to be part of it...part of history. I want to give my gratitude and pay respect to President Aquino also. Suddenly, I appreciated her- truly appreciated. It's different when you're actually seeing a history unfolding in front of you than reading it from a book. How proud I am to see every Filipino tied together...unified for one cause.I now know what's it like--back in 1986.

Now, I see Tita Cory differently...not just the President in a yellow dress but the reason why I am free today.

I am very thankful I was born on the 80's. If not, I would not have seen the greatest people on earth.

My month of June is devastating, July is depressing and August is...well let's just say I am hoping it's not the saddest.





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I AM SCREAMING FOR MORE ICE CREAM

I can't count anymore how many ice creams I ate this week (and still eating)
I have a cough and barking like a dog
But I don't care...Ice cream makes me happy!!!

But to forget MJ's death and move on...i think I need to eat 100 buckets of ice cream.

Currently watching his private home videos. Yes, while at work. But hey, I did finish all my paperworks today. I am just having a break and a snack.

Want some ice cream?



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My weekend diary

Friday:
- Couldn't decide at first whether to watch My sister's keeper or just have a delicious pasta and pizza at Don Henrico's. The movie based on Jodi Picoult's novel seemed to have a very nice and touching story. But, I was not in the mood to cry and absorb any more sad emotions.

- My "fickleness" attacked again and I decided to watch My sister's keeper at the last minute. After all, it would be good for me to cry...at least I would have a "valid" reason why I have the sudden need to release excess waters from my eyes and nobody would tease me that it's because of MJ's death again.

- I was right, My sister's keeper is a very very sad movie. Did I cry? No. My eyes watered a bit but not a tear dropped. Because the two questions that formed in my head while watching the movie was far stronger than my emotion- why do good people die ahead of bad people? why do death come to those who seek life and but not to those whose life is worthless and death is the only hope?

- Ordering a pizza at Don Henrico's to go with the movie would take 20 minutes. And I made the decision to watch My sister's keeper 10 minutes before the start. So, we just ordered a pizza at Greenwich. Did it taste great? Too much tomato ketchup and very few cheese and the crust was burned. I finished eating a slice with my pouting mouth.

- I used my brand new Crocs. I am a big fan of Havaiannas. I only bought crocs to compare the two. I adore comfortable shoes. My feet couldn't take leathers. Although I would be willing to sacrifice a few hours just for "office attire's sake" Sneakers and flip flops are my feet's favorites. I love Crocs' designs. Very fashionable and not too "plasticky". It could be mistaken for a real shoes. I bought a pair of "ballet flats" which said to be their newest design. On the other hand, Crocs is actually a bit overrated. Havaiannas is still my no.1. I wouldn't trade it even for the latest Nike sneakers unless it's the new black cortez.

- I went to two record stores. I looked at MJ's albums (as usual). It's comforting to see his albums. If possible, I would like to buy all. I'd like to make a tiny confession. One of my childish dreams was to meet Michael in person and ask for his autograph and probably visit Neverland! I could still remember the time when I begged my parents to allow me to see his concert in Manila but they wouldn't let me because I was too young and there were so many people. They were afraid there would be a stampede or similar thing like that. I locked myself up in my room - making tantrums and pouting all day.
God has been faithful to me - all the time. He made most of my dreams come true. Most came true...some did not and meeting MJ was one of my unfulfilled dreams.

- I came home and found my mom clutching a brand new DVD of MJ. (Gosh! we're a family of MJ fanatics) We watched the DVD till 2am.

- I realized that Jolla's slipping from my mind and I am not making an effort or whatsoever as of the present time. Would he mind? He's busy (as always) and I am sure he knows he's still very much appreciated, remembered and cared for. And I would always love the Ryu family.

- I got a letter from my very first best friend. She loves Twilight too!!! Well..that's why we're best friend. She's living in Canada together with her family and she will be coming back for vacation this December. I am so excited!!! She left for Canada right after my debut. So, to be honest I am not sure how our meeting on December will be like. Will we hug each other? Are we going to cry? I am sure we're going to laugh a lot and maybe we'll eat Mc Donald's french fries or Jollibee spaghetti like we always did when we were kids.

Saturday:
- I am a single mother. I did all my weekend responsibilities and duties. I bathe my three dogs but not my cat. He's sick. He's been vomiting and suffering from diarrhea. I've been nursing him for a week now. The weird and funny thing is, he eats a lot! It's like he doesn't know he's sick. He runs around the house and play on his own. He's always hungry and he won't eat unless I spoon feed him. Yes...he's my baby. I am worrying for my cat and for my wallet. Gosh, it's really expensive taking care of pets. Food, vitamins, grooming, doctor fees and toys. But I don't mind spending because my pets make me smile...all the time even during my lowest points. My life as an only child is not all fun and good things. It is sometimes if not often lonely.

- I did some groceries for our store. On the counter there was this lady who kept on staring at me and when I was about to pay with my credit card, she leaned so close on my side and watched me while I was signing the receipt. It's not the first time. I think it was a month or two ago when a lady took a step near me and looked at my grocery items. While waiting for my turn, I took a magazine from a rack and read. The lady leaned even closer and read the magazine over my shoulder. Talk about weird experiences.

- We went to our church. As usual, I am happy to be inside our church. It's huge, clean, cool, peaceful and the seats are comfortable. The interiors are well designed. It's like being inside a theater or a plush auditorium. And most of all, I love our Pastor. He's warm, smart, sweet and funny. Everytime I see him, it's like I am seeing Santa Clause hehe. Not just because of the body size (just teasing)but because of his friendliness, kindness and cuteness :) He's been my pastor ever since I was 8 years old.

- My mom treated my dad I to Don Henrico's. It's her early birthday blowout.She knows I am craving so much for a Four Cheese Pizza. So we ordered a large size of it, classic carbonara and baked mussels. This time, it's my mouth that watered. I ate a lot. So much...I think I would not eat pasta and pizza for the next two weeks or so. hehe.

Sunday:

- I cleaned my room and did my other duties at home

T.H.E.N

- I opened my pc and I watched MJ's bloopers and behind the scenes. Even the paparazzi videos. His laugh is so adorable and pure. I love hearing him laugh. There was this video where he can't stop laughing. It's infectious! I can't stop laughing too. He's a natural comedian :)

Currently doing: I just finished watching Oprah's interview with MJ. He's very honest and open.My mom said, my dreams were quite similar to MJ. Because I often tell my parents that when I become a billionaire, I would buy a land and I would have my own Amusement park and I will play all day everyday. I would also get all the stray dogs and cats. I would give them a home and feed them. Because my heart breaks everytime I see a stray dog or cat ran over by vehicles or those who were left in the street without anything to eat.

Right now, I am now searching "Living with Michael Jackson" videos.

I am sure my friend would tease me again and again right after reading this blog.

Please...just let me grieve.





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