My Life My Race

My Life My Race

Monday, December 24, 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!

What can I give you?
You won't need a candy or ice cream
A cake won't be sweet enough
Why would you need a candle too
When you are the light

Can't give you a house and a sports car
Or a plane ticket to your favorite country
What will you do to a jewel or a bag of cash?
You are the richest King...You own everything

What can I give you
But a humble heart
and a loyal love
Though I am a sinner
I promise to be faithful
and not to bow down to other gods
For you are the real One

I will never be ashamed
I will stand and praise your name
I will sing praises to you
Jesus, you are my only King



Happy Birthday!




Sunday, November 18, 2012

FOR MY GRANDFATHER...TATAY






Tatay,
If I see you again
I’ll not waste any minute
So many things I want to thank you for
A big part of me is you

When I was young, you gave me puzzles to solve
And Lego toys to build
I didn’t know then that you’re teaching me
How to think wisely, to be patient
And to finish what I started
To set goals and achieve them

You bought me books and
Encouraged me to read a lot
You taught me how to gain knowledge
And to always ask God for wisdom

You taught me how to be successful in life
To always put God first and trust His will
To appreciate His goodness and blessings
To read His word everyday

You taught me how to pray
To not ask but to always give thanks

You encouraged me to travel and see the world
You want me to see how beautiful our world
And how marvelous our God is

Just like you, I love to watch movies
Fiction and fantasy that teaches a lesson or two
Entertaining and inspiring
Another hobby I inherited from you

We listen to different music
And we like different songs
Yet, I still remember the time
I played the piano in front of you
You listened contentedly…
With a smile on your face
I wasn’t the greatest
Still you’re proud of me

You taught me how to be a good person
To love my parents and be a loyal friend
To love my cousins and care for them
To be sincere and humble
Humility should always be with me
Be kind and gentle to please the Lord

You taught me so many things
But there’s one thing you forgot to teach me
How to survive each day I’m missing you
When you’re gone and you didn't say goodbye

I didn’t know that was our last hug
I should have hugged you more
and stayed longer
I should have said "I'm sorry"
for all those times I didn't come
to see you


You don't know how I always long to be with you and Nanay
To spend time with you
I am always thinking... when can I see you again?
Always excited to talk to you
How happy I am when we're together

Now that you’re gone
I survive by pretending you’re still here
And just like before, I will wait again
I will work harder and make you proud
I will remember all those things you taught me
I will try to smile and be happy

But there's one thing that scares me
I hope you will not forget me

Tay, please remember my name
When I get to see you in Heaven
I will hug you and say
It’s me, Camille…your first grandchild.







Sunday, November 11, 2012

Will you wait for me?

How I wish I wrote this song...
credits to Kavana

*EXACTLY THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW*


I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together still feels like yesterday
I never thought I'd see
A single day without you,
The things we take for granted,
We can sometimes lose

And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?



Do you remember how it was?
When we never seemed to care,
The days went by so quickly,
'Cause I thought you'd always be there...
And it's hard to let you go,
Though I know that I must try,
I feel like I've been cheated,
'Cause we never said goodbye...

And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?

'Cause I miss you so, and I need to know...
Will you wait for me?

'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me...
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me in heaven?

And time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through
If you wait for me...



Thursday, May 31, 2012

MY LIFE AND MY CAT PART 4 ( Dear God, WHY?!)



Dear God,

You can read my thoughts and you can see everything...
I cannot hide anything from you...
I do not have to explain why work became my last priority...
I do not have to justify why I no longer work for success...
I work only because I have to. You will hate me if I'm lazy...
But, I no longer compete...
I am content with what I have...
I have my parents...
I have Snowball...
I am happy...
Everyday is a blessing..
I can breath. I can play...
I feel complete...




Friends and relatives betrayed me...
They never know what loyalty means...
I don't even know if they can really love...
I don't need them anyway...
I have Snowball...
He is my best friend...
I can survive each day because of him...
Trials come and go. They hit me like waves...
and I stand firm with him on my side...
I sometimes cry but then he will look at me,
and I will be reminded of your love...
Snowball reminds me of you all the time...
How loving and faithful you are...
When I look at Snowball, I see good and perfect things...
which only you can give...
I don't feel lonely anymore...



I am happy...I was happy
Then suddenly, you changed everything...
You took my happiness
What did I do wrong?
Did I make you unhappy?
Are you mad at me?
Why do you have to take Snowball away?
Why did you make him sick?
I took care of him...
You saw it with your own eyes...
Why take him away?
Do you need him?
You own everything...
and I only have him...

I never expected you will hurt me like this
I thought you will never betray me
I trusted you...
But what can I do? You are God and I am just a human...
Who am I compared to you...
Who am I that you should care for?

You gave my old life back...
Which I did not ask for...
How can I live my life now?
Tell me, because I don't know how...
You already changed my heart...
Without Snowball, I am alone...
Without him, I lost my purpose
He is my parents'apple of the eye...
our pride and joy
and you took him away...

WHY?

Can you hear me crying? Can you see my tears?
You know everything...You know how I feel...
I cannot understand what happened...
I thought you gave him to me...
Because you wanted him to be with me...
Because I am better when he is with me...

Did you send him only to change me?
I cannot remember borrowing him from you
I asked him from you...
You are the one who gave...
Now I know your power to take...
In just a blink of an eye...Snowball is gone

I will never understand...
But though I feel betrayed, I will still trust you
You are God and I am just a human...
Even I belongs to you...
You run my life according to your will...

I don't know how to live my life now...
I don't know how to start again...
When you see me smile, don't think that I am happy...
I can laugh but don't think that I am glad...
I can pretend because I am human...

I miss Snowball so much...
I am still thankful that he knows I love him...
I cannot understand what happened...
But this I hope...
That someday, when my turn comes...
for me to leave my loved ones

...
You will comfort them...and not leave them unanswered...

I don't know why...I don't know the reason
Perhaps you need Snowball too...
Perhaps you miss him too...
He is yours anyway...now I know...
Thank you Lord for sharing him to me...
He made me happy...It was the best four years of my life...

Dear God,
Can I see him again?
Will you bring me to Heaven?
Will you forgive me?
This I hope and pray
Let me see Snowball again
To run with him...
To play wit him...

This time...forever







Wednesday, May 16, 2012

MY LIFE AND MY CAT PART 3 (Dear God, I found a best friend)

Dear God, My mornings are always happy ever since Snowball came and I know it makes you glad when I smile in the morning He wakes me up everyday with a soft "meow" and a pat on my leg I open my eyes and there he is...staring at me with his cute face...asking for breakfast He is my best friend and my companion We read the Bible and pray together everyday We eat breakfast and dinner together We watch TV every night We read the newspaper every Sunday We play everyday We go on trips every holiday We sometimes fight and He knows how to argue But he knows how to say sorry too
He support me and I support him His enemies are my enemies I know he hates our neighbor's cat and he knows I hate my ex-friend He loves who I love He hates who I hate He is sad when I cry And I feel hurt when he's in pain He listens when I speak He loves it when I play the piano He knows when I am feeling cold and scared and sleeps beside me when I am sick He is my best friend But I am guilty of not being a good friend I feel sorry whenever I had to leave him and go someplace I feel bad when he wants to play and I am busy I feel guilty when he is calling me and I'm pretending not to hear because I am reading my e-mails He always understands me I am not always good to him but he still loves me Snowball is my faithful friend always loyal, always loving Where can I find another one like him?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

MY LIFE AND MY CAT PART 2 (Dear God... do you know what is my cat's favorite color?)

Dear God,

My life changed when Snowball came My selfishness took a back seat My proud self is no longer present I know you sent him to change me I rarely receive beautiful gifts
I say beautiful when it's a gift that can meet my need
I often receive many...and they are all wonderful to look at
But I don't need most of them
I am not fond of jewels but you gave me one... More precious than silver or gold
To give him the best care...is my everyday mission
You gave him to teach me how to be truly responsible.
If he can think...I want him to think good thoughts about me
If he can feel...I want him to feel loved by our family
For many years, I am the one receiving care
Now, I am the one who has to give it

In my hand is a life
My duty is to keep it breathing
I did my best to know the facts
Like...what to feed him or how often can I give him a bath
I have to know everything about cats


I bought him an orange blanket
He likes it!
My mom bought him an orange pillow
He loves it!
My friend bought him an orange ball
He jumped so high and hugged it!

No need to ask what is his favorite color... Yes Lord... now I know, cats have their favorites too. Rose is his favorite flower
Mangosteen and lanzones are his two favorite fruits
Lemon grass is his favorite mouthwash
Chicken is his favorite food and not fish

He is the smartest cat I know
He knows where to pee
He knows what not to eat
He knows where to find his toy
He knows how to please my mom He knows how to make my dad laugh and he knows what time to wake me up

Can't thank you enough for giving me a cat with a high IQ (to be continued)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

STORY OF MY LIFE AND MY CAT PART 1 (Dear God, thanks for giving me a big white cat)


Dear God,

How are you?
It's been a long time...
I haven't written you a note for many months now...
I can't pray
I don't know what to say...but ask you
Why did you allow that great wave of sadness to hit me
when I was not ready
I feel numb
Too hurt to feel anything

Sometimes I would whisper you a silent thanks
for helping me survive a day...
for letting me live my life as if it's still the same
for my parents
for few friends...
thank you for letting me have them
Please allow me to keep them

God, can you still remember the time when I was still a student?
My life revolved around books
All I cared about was to get good grades
To stay on top of the class
To know the answer right away when asked
To crave for knowledge and
To fill my brain with interesting facts

I was an ideal student
I knew I was...and you know that.
I would start my day asking you for wisdom
I would end my day thanking you for giving me enough
I would proudly display my list of grades on my father's table
and although appreciation was not always available...
I did my best... for myself
For I was expecting a bright future
A straight path towards success

Everyday, I would wake up thinking about school
No care for the day if it's sunny or gray
I would arrive home thinking of what I learned that day
Would kiss my mom and dad
Would give a brief story about the day
Would give our three dogs a pat on the head
If there's time, I would stop long enough to give them a scratch
Would not know if they were sick...if they ate or when was their last bath
Not that I didn't care...It's just that...I was busy.

Would eat some dinner and
would spend the rest of the night studying
Would not stop until I hear my mom's stern voice
telling me to sleep
It's late. And I need to rest.
I would then remember to pray
and thank you for another day

Did I spend time with my parents?
If eating dinner together would count...then yes
My dad would often help me in my assignments
My mom would bring me to school in the morning
and would pick me up at night
Did i spend enough time with them?
Now I know I did not...not enough
I am an obedient daughter. You know I am.
But obedience cannot compensate for time.

You were good to me
and you blessed me
I finished my course
and I graduated with honors
Was I happy while I was on the stage?
Happy was not the word
But I was satisfied to see my grandpa on the stage
with me and my dad
I was satisfied to see my mom's smile on her face too.
Was I happy?
I was smiling... but Lord, you know I was scared.

And there I was...standing inside an office.
Looking excited...but my palms were sweating
It's my first day at work. My first job.
and I was wearing my finest black business attire
and new high heeled leather shoes
On my shoulder was my first office leather bag
All my new things were of good quality
Except my heart...I was nervous.
Confidence left me inside a room full of strangers

Days passed and I realized that the corporate world was not how I expected it to be
True that there are a lot of coffee breaks, cigarette breaks, restroom breaks
meetings with the boss, meetings with the colleagues, meetings with the clients
A lot of moments to talk and a lot of moments wasted.
But really...who am I helping? what am I getting?

My books suddenly became useless tools.
My mother is right...no book could tell you exactly
how to live life or to survive it
I was a fool for believing that as long as a person would always be good, smart
and hardworking then the path to success would always be straight
Not in this world anyway..

When I was in school, I met a lot of insecure bullies
Still, I didn't see them as bad. They just lack attention.
At work, I met a different kind of people
They are smart and they wear decent clothes
but they are not at all gentle and friendly
I don't call them war freaks. Naughty is not the right word too.
Naughty is cute and they are not.
They are just simply...bad.
I learned the literal meaning of the word when I met them.
Immorality is now too common and perceived to be not a sin anymore
Sadly, there are people like them everywhere
and they are accepted

Powerful men and women who use money to control another being
A stack of paper bills can get them what they want
Money is their magic wand
Obviously, there are weak people who are willing to sell their souls
for they thought life here on earth would be better
if they attach themselves to these so called powerful ones
People stay weak because they allow themselves to be...

I sometimes wonder, if these people are orphans?
No mom or dad to teach them some manners?
No grandparents to remind them of their values?
Is integrity and principle not as important as before?
The word thank you is often said without sincerity
And the word "I am sorry" is rarely heard

Those who say they are poor are no different to those who have money
Rich and poor...their thoughts are almost parallel
They are greedy...always envious of others.
They are never content. They always want more
They say "I want that" or "I want this"
They take advantage of others who are weak
of those who can't fight against them
of those who can't speak

How different is a wise to a fool?
The other think first before doing something wrong
and then pretend that what he did wrong is the right thing
The fool never think. He just do whatever he believe is right
without realizing that it is wrong

Lord, why create such new version of humans?
A version without a heart...
Not that I know better...But I do prefer the older version
Please make sure to give each one of them a heart full of compassion



It's a lot harder now to find a man who is truly merciful, loving and caring
Someone who judges fairly
Someone who will not think twice to share his blessings
like giving half of his sandwich to a street kid
or helping an old lady cross the street
Someone who will stop and listen to his heart
Someone who knows you...
Someone who is good...

It's easier to accept a man who is rude
than a cruel person who fears no one...not even you
How sad to know that even the fiercest animal of the forest and of the sea cannot do anything to fight small beastly men
So sad...but what can I do?
I am just like them. Human.
Everyday I am with them
Everyday I am tempted to imitate what I see
and throw away my values...
seems it's not useful anymore
what would I gain?
Right is now mixed up with wrong



And just when I was starting to act like them...think like them
You sent me a big-pure-white-fat-fluffy-persian-cat
and his name is Snowball
Instantly, he caught my heart just when I was about to lose it
He is the most handsome cat I've ever seen in my life
His eyes on some days are the color of a rising sun
yellow and bright
On days that it's green, i think of my favorite island
Two marble eyes that could speak any language
His nose the color of sweet cherries...
sometimes pink...but often red
As small as a button
I kiss it softly everyday
I kiss it many times each day
His paw is as big as a fist of a human baby
(If I could, I would hold it all the time)
His fur is as white as snow
softer than cotton
I love white
I love snow
I love winter
because I love this cat

Though he got my heart in a blink of an eye
It took days before I gained his trust
After all...He was not originally mine
My grandma owned him first
But I think you heard my wish
when I told the stars...I wish he's mine.

My grandma called and asked me if I like Snowball
I said YES!
She told me to come and take Snowball
Home...with me...He'll be mine
Thank you God, for listening to my quiet prayer
Now I know that you hear whispers and wishes too

On our way home...he's so scared
Would look and stare at me...with those pleading eyes
maybe he was thinking "Who is this stranger? Where is she taking me?
Trying my best to comfort him, I touched his left paw and said
"Hi, baby...I am your mommy now"

When we got home, although nothing's really changed
except for the arrival of this handsome cat
I knew my life would never be the same
and I am not the same person anymore
Our home is his home now. He is ours
I want to take care of him
Lord, remember my promise to you that I would give him the best care?
I kept that promise
I started by finding a safe place for him to sleep






















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