My Life My Race

My Life My Race

Monday, August 31, 2009

And so...I am Peter Pan

I love Peter Pan! He and Cinderella were the two characters first introduced to me by my mom. Their story books were the first among my collections. And just a week ago, when I cleaned my cabinet, I saw them side by side- just the way I kept them a few years back. Without meaning to, I took my Peter Pan book and read it- as if I'm 4 years old again. And as I turn the pages, happy thoughts filled my mind and happy feelings crawled to my body - all the way to my lips- until I gave in and flashed a smile. If you were there with me inside my bedroom, you're going to think I was going crazy.

Why do I love Peter Pan? I am counting the ways. I said I love Cinderella because she's beautiful, kind, pure, patient, loving and she has a very nice dress. Also, Cinderella taught me how to dream and believe that dreams come true. I adore her so much that when I turned 18, I imitated her. I copied her dress, her hairstyle, her song but not her shoes- as it was very hard to find a similar glass shoe.

Peter Pan...Peter Pan...Why do I love thee?

My story book has 10 pages only. And in just ten pages, it was able to tell about Peter and Wendy's first meeting, their flying adventure, coming to Neverland, meeting the lost boys, Tinker bell's death and Peter Pan's fight against Captain Hook and of course I would never forget the crocodile with the ticking clock.

A very brief story illustrated in colorful pictures. It delighted me when I was four and it continues to delight me up to this date.

I remember, I used to watch Peter Pan cartoon in Abs Cbn every 4pm when I was in elementary. Funny because it was translated in Tagalog. I would rush home from school, would throw my bag in my bed, would sit and turn on the TV and find something to munch- while my mom was scolding at my side for not doing my assignments first. Of course I still got good grades :) Others might think I prefer Wendy. It is my mom's name by the way and I love my mom. But in this story, it was Peter Pan who I liked and not the female lead.

Right now, I have 1 Peter Pan Betamax, 1 Peter Pan VHS and 2 Peter Pan VCD. I am still looking for a DVD.

Now why do I love Peter Pan? I love him at first because he can fly and when I was a kid, I dreamed of flying. But Peter is naughty, selfish, forgetful, over confident and self-centered. Not an ideal kid.

Recently, I saw a Peter Pan book. Not a 10 page storybook but a 185 page novel by the famous J.M. Barrie. I was surprised- because I am used to my little bright story book with big pictures. When I saw the novel, I immediately thought "Is there something I still don't know about Peter?" So, I bought it.

I finished the book in a couple of days. And this time, instead of a joyful feeling, it was sadness that crawled to my body. Yes, I got the full details - I got to know more about Nana- the nurse dog of the Darling family, Mr. Darling's strict behavior and Mrs. Darling's loving attitude. And Captain Hook's soul is not at all black. He has a sweet quality deep inside him. He just can't resist hating Peter.

Peter Pan is the boy who will never grow up. He doesn't want to grow up. He hates to be called "man". He is happy on his own without a parent. He thinks a father and a mother would only limit his freedom. But he loved it when Wendy took care of him - by preparing his medicine, washing his clothes, cooking him food, telling him bedtime stories and tucking him every night.He just thought he didn't need a parent when obviously he's craving for one. He is living happily in Neverland- the place where you can eat delicious food while playing with the mermaids, and get saved by a Neverbird when you are too weak to fly and do so much fun things and adventures - all of these are but a creation of "make believe"

I appreciated the novel so much even though it was written without colorful pictures because this time I used my imagination. I felt every emotion and I understood Peter's true self.

We may all think Peter Pan is very childish as he doesn't want to grow up. He may like fun things but after reading the novel you would learn that he actually has a mature mind. He just doesn't want to admit it. He is caring and he is brave. He won't mind saving his friends even if it kills him. Of course, he loves the attention but it's just part of his act as a kid. He may act carefree but in truth he fears the day Wendy, John and Michael would return to their home. He pretended to be indifferent but he felt so sad when they left Neverland. He hid his feelings because he doesn't want to hold them back and hurt them. He knows when to let go. He knows that when you love you have to sometimes make a sacrifice.

The saddest part was when he returned to the home of Wendy and he found her all grown up and married. I am not numb so tears formed in the corner of my eyes and I had to exert an effort to prevent it from dropping because people might think something's wrong with me. But I am feeling the exact emotion of Peter. Like him, I don't want to grow up. Not because I'm scared of responsibilities and commitments. Kids have their responsibilities too. Like Peter, I am not scared to die either. For him, it's another adventure. For me, it's the only way to meet Jesus. It's the fact that people around me are growing old too that scared me. People who I love. People who might go ahead of me. I fear the day we would all be too old and we would be forgetful. Too old to laugh and play and run and jump and think of simple things and appreciate simple pleasures. I fear the day people dear to me would grow old and weak but would soon reach the finish line and they would leave me still running in a race.

In the story, Peter is forgetful and he can adapt to changes quickly. But I doubt if he really is. Maybe like me, he's just pretending to adapt when in truth he still prefers the old life with all the good memories he has before Wendy and her brothers left Neverland.

I love Peter Pan, because I fear what he fears and I like what he likes.
And just like him...I am still a kid.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Rain and pillow go together

It's raining again.
This time, only soft drops of water. not at all scary like a storm.
Just like a feather lightly brushing your cheeks.
It is so soft that it makes me sleepy.
It's like a lullaby or a bird humming in a tree nearby.
A goodnight prayer will make the night even more peaceful

I will now put my head in my pillow which smells wonderful.
My Bible above my head.
and wrap myself with my blanket.
I am all warm and set.
In just a few minutes, I will be leaving reality and go to a place where only a dream can take me.

Sweet dreams.
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm on Facebook

Would you believe, I am actually enjoying Facebook.
I never thought I would.
Because I am so loyal to Friendster.

What do I enjoy the most?
Answering the quizzes :)

According to those funny short quizzes:
1. I would have 3 kids - 2 boys and 1 girl (I've got to think of names ^-^)
2. I am God's prayer warrior (I read my Bible and pray everyday)
3. I have innocent eyes (really?)
4. I was born to become a hero (Supergirl!)
5. I will be Jean Grey if I become a part of Marvel Superheroes (she's not exactly my favorite but will do)
6. My Japanese name is Reika which means "lovely flower" (COOL!)
7. It's my smile that people first notice about me.

Very time consuming....but that's the point! Facebook is for people (besides finding other people) who doesn't have anything to do or bored with life and they want to do something to kill time.

I'll see you in Facebook!

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MJ - A homicide victim

Just as I thought.

I need a bucket..quick!

I think I'll be crying all night.

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Rain and white don't go together

Of all the days that it can rain, it choose to rain today - now that I'm wearing white.

I have to rush back home and change my attire or else I would look like a human Dalmatian.

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Monday, August 17, 2009

My happy birthday

God proved to me once again how much He loves me
And that he hears my every prayer.

If there's a day that I fear the most, it's my birthday...for some reason I can't freely write in here.

But God wiped my tears...
and He put a smile on my face.

I felt His presence and His goodness in every thing that happened to me today.

For the first time, I had a warm birthday...literally and figuratively.

Thank you Lord.

Thank you for the life you gave me.

I love you and I will live my life according to your will.

Thank you for making me happy today.

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Sunday, August 9, 2009

Lifebook 2009

Shared to me by my bestfriend.

I doubt if she is really following all of these especially no.7 because she hates to read. haha

Tell me, how many of these can you do? :)


>1. Drink plenty of water
>2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
>3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
>4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
>5. Make time for prayer
>6. Play more games
>7. Read more books than you did in 2008
>8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
>9. Sleep for 7 hours
>10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile


>11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
>12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
>13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
>14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
>18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
>19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
>20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present 21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you 22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
>23. Smile and laugh more
>24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


>25. Call your family often
>26. Each day give something good to others
>27. Forgive everyone for everything
>28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
>29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
>30. What other people think of you is none of your business
>31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.


>32. Do the right things
>33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
>34. GOD heals everything
>35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
>36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
>37. The best is yet to come
>38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
>39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Part of History

Yesterday's funeral was the longest yet the most beautiful and meaningful I've ever seen.

If MJ's memorial made me cry, Tita Cory's funeral made me proud.

Baby James is so cute and sweet. He's a happy baby. I haven't seen him crying or throwing tantrums.

And let's all acknowledge the four honor guards who stood on the truck faithfully doing their duties despite the rain and the 8 hour ride from Manila Cathedral to Manila Memorial. If I hadn't seen them breathing, I would thought they were toy soldiers because they were not moving at all! They were standing so still. Incredible! They should be given an award. I strongly wish that.

Yesterday was really admirable. Yesterday was the day all the Filipinos became proud of who they are.

If all the Filipinos could be united in one day...instantly, then it is possible to be unified entirely.

I hope yesterday wouldn't just be another page in the Philippine History...

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Monday, August 3, 2009

Yellow Ribbon

After Michael Jackson, now it's President Cory Aquino.

Why do good people have to die soon?

Everywhere, I see yellow ribbon tied in gates, trees and in windshields. People wear yellow t-shirts. The whole country is mourning.

I was not shocked when she died. Not to be a hypocrite, I already expected her death. How many people survives cancer? Very few. I am sad of course. She's who I call "My President" I was a year old when Senator Ninoy Aquino was assassinated. When Cory became President, I was already a toddler. I could talk and walk but I didn't care what's happening to our country then. My milk was my world. I did not appreciate what she did to fight for our democracy. Because, I couldn't appreciate...yet. During my elementary, our class went to Malacanang as part of our field trip and I read books about Philippine History as our teacher asked us to memorize the time line from President Marcos to President Aquino, the heroic deeds of Senator Ninoy Aquino, and our country's transformation from dictatorship to democratic . But I couldn't fully appreciate...I could only understand. My mom looked proud while telling me awhile ago that she and my dad went to Ninoy's memorial. She brought me along with her. I was on her arms, wearing a "Yellow Ninoy T-shirt", while she and dad made their way through the crowd to pay their respect and see Ninoy for the last time. Of course, I couldn't remember any of it. The yellow t-shirt with Ninoy's face printed in the front and "I love Ninoy" at the back is still safe in my cabinet- small and faded- it may not be as meaningful to me as is to my parents but when I hold it, I know it is precious. And even though I was not yet born during Ninoy's admirable years, I have great respect on him and next to Jose Rizal, he's my favorite hero after I read all the marvelous things he did to our nation.

Today, as Cory's casket is being moved from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral, I am seeing thousands of people on the street, waiting for the truck that carries the casket covered with Philippine Flag. They are wearing black and yellow. They are chanting "Cory! Cory!" they are putting up banners that says "Cory, hindi ka nag-iisa" (Cory, you are not alone). People from offices are throwing yellow confetti. And as the truck nears them, they are pausing to pray and they give respect. It's raining yellow confetti everywhere! It's like a festive. It's amazing. They are giving her respect fit for a queen. The mood is friendly. It's warm and peaceful. It was said that when Cory was alive, she unified all the Filipinos. It's amazing how she can still unify all Filipinos from all walks of life even at her death. The rich and the poor together. I could only watch from our TV but I want to be there. I want to be part of it...part of history. I want to give my gratitude and pay respect to President Aquino also. Suddenly, I appreciated her- truly appreciated. It's different when you're actually seeing a history unfolding in front of you than reading it from a book. How proud I am to see every Filipino tied together...unified for one cause.I now know what's it like--back in 1986.

Now, I see Tita Cory differently...not just the President in a yellow dress but the reason why I am free today.

I am very thankful I was born on the 80's. If not, I would not have seen the greatest people on earth.

My month of June is devastating, July is depressing and August is...well let's just say I am hoping it's not the saddest.

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