My Life My Race

My Life My Race

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Deathly Decisions to make

To decide whether or not to leave a club

To decide who is or are the persons worth keeping...worth talking to...
"Who is worthy of my limited time"

To decide who must be kept locked in the past

To decide whether to forget or to remember

To decide who to believe and who to trust

To decide whether to keep my hopes up

or just sulk all day

To decide whether to act like a grown up

or stay innocent


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To accept a dream job but will keep me away from my loved ones

or be damned to a job I am comfortable but not really my dream to do and be away for several years from my dearest people.

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To decide whether to love the rain but cool

or the dry but hot weather

To decide whether to stick on being a coffee drinker

and forget milk

or love milk...and forget that I am allergic to it

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To decide whether to love rock music...with words i can't understand
but can keep me awake

or the slow songs with the clear lyrics...but will bring me to dream land in less than 5 sec.

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To decide whether I should be brave and have the operation
regardless of its risk...
regardless of the pain I have to endure when the anesthesia finally fades in
regardless of the 3-5 hour amnesia (that will make me forget who my parents are) after the operation
and end up in an asylum because luck left me and my memory won't come back.

I often doubt my sanity anyway.

or just suffer in silence whenever i am having difficulty breathing

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To decide whether to finally forgive Jacob for kissing Bella

and Bella for kissing him back.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

And the Devil appears

Think of the Devil...
and the Devil shall appear.

He appeared last night. Clad in white top and jeans.
Trying to look cool with Ipod
Flashing his "deceiving" smile.

This time I was not deceived though.
Huh!
But he took me by surprise.

Funny that my "Angel" claimed to be thinking of him too
So the power of two brought out the Devil.

To make it clear: I only thought of him after my "Angel" indirectly made a comment about the Devil being my "Jacob"

Urgh! please, he didn't even reached that point in my life.

I don't have any "Jacob"
Only a Devil.

By the way, I am learning to understand Bella.



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Saturday, January 10, 2009

I despised Bella


Just a week ago, I even thought of naming my "future daughter" Isabella Marie.
Now...i hated myself for even considering that.
I will stick to my first choice - Alice

Oh how i hate Bella Swan for falling in love with her best friend Jacob Black!
I mean, why?

Given the fact that Jacob became her personal comforter and space heater.. and
Physically, he's tall, dark and handsome. He's brave and...

and...

and...

Gosh it's so hard to think of something good to describe him.
He's but an "overly-confident-rude-unethical-smelly-mongrel"

I have a guy best friend...two of them
but never did I fall for any of them
(sorry if they happen to read this hahaha...no offense)

Problem with Bella is she doesn't have enough self control...
there's a boundary but she crossed it

She kissed Jacob Black...back!
Oh how i hate her for doing that.

Her reason? well she wants to save Jacob's life.
She's trying to stop him in going to a fight
Damn!
Crap!
What a silly excuse!
It's just a game plan set by Jacob.
He's too "monstrous" to be hurt.
Bella is so vulnerable.
I think her hormones run her thoughts.
Her love is connected with lust.
and Jacob satisfies that hormones willingly.
What a bestfriend.
and what a lousy love.
Jacob is selfish
Bella is selfish

The ickiest thing: She kissed Edward...minutes after she kissed Jacob.
Poor...poor Edward.

How I hated the ending.

Bella doesn't deserve Edward's true love.

Bella is in love with Jacob.
But she's in love with Edward also..."her life"
How childish that she kept on grumbling....
acting grouchy
whenever Edward talks about their wedding.

My insights are like this: I think Bella is deeply in love with Jacob
but she chooses Edward...because she prefers the "comfortable life
Her love for Edward is but shallow
She's just after her good looks
and Edward's overflowing protection

She is abusing Edward's goodness.

Uhuh...sorry...i am in a "i hate Bella mode"

I want to rewrite the ending...

Edward ends up with Tanya.

There...much perfect!

Just to hurt Bella

I can't comprehend Bella's manner of thinking...
Why would she choose to hold a coal, when there's already a diamond in her hand.
Everybody's saying "she's only human"
oh come on!
good thing she's only a fictional character
if she happened to be my friend...i would give her a big smack right where her brain is supposed to be.

Edward:
-polite
-sticks to his virtue
-impossibly handsome
-rich
- smart
- clean
- ethical
- honest
- selfless
- caring
- loving
- understanding
- respectful
- decent
- virgin

Edward: Perfect

Bella...why are you so stupid?

even if Edward and Bella end up together (eventually)

I still see Bella as a two-timing-selfish character.

Sorry to all Bella fans.

I was her fan too.

Aaarrggghhh.....

Lessons learned:
Not to be like Bella and stick with my Edward.
Don't go to hell when you're already living in heaven.

I hope tomorrow when I wake up...I will remember why I liked Bella.
I hate that I hate her.


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Monday, January 5, 2009

SCTex Rocks!










I thank the Heavens for the newly constructed Subic Clark Tarlac Expressway!
Going to Pangasinan is now a delight to me...well it's always been a delight of course
But with the new SCTex...it becomes a lot exhilarating!

well of course have to do some begging first.
My mom won't allow me behind the steering wheel

and another crap...

there's a speed limit: 60mph-100mph

An opportunity put to waste!

Speed limits could put someone...specifically myself to sleep.

Still, it's a heaven's gift.

If you don't mind getting your licence at the nearest LTO office and paying a fee of P500 plus

Then take the chance to be a daredevil

haha

I am still an angel... "Wear your seat belt!"



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