My Life My Race

My Life My Race

Monday, October 29, 2007

Now i leave everything to you

I did, tried and gave my best

I am worrying so much

But now i leave everything in God's hands

I don't have much strength left...

I need Him to make things alright...

like the way it's supposed to be

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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Puppy Poem

You can't buy loyalty, they sayI bought it though, the other day;
You can't buy friendship, tried and true,But just the same, I bought that too.
I made my bid, and on the spot bought love and faith and a whole job lot of happiness,
so all in all The purchase price was pretty small
I bought a single trusting heart,That gave devotion from the start
If you think these things are not for sale,
Buy a brown-eyed puppy with a wagging tail.

Author Unknown
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So this is how it feels

My baby is sick...

I am so worried!!!

I am at his side most of the comfort him and give massage and to feed him (forced) because he doesn't have any appetite

I don't know what to do

now i know how it feels to be like a mother

I am a mom of a 1 month old golden retriever...

I am scared of giving birth

so i choose to adopt a puppy instead

i pray he'll get well soon

I am so scared!

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Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm getting blurred vision about my future

I didn't have a good sleep last night...

I was not exactly sure what has gotten into me

But suddenly i got a severe attack of "fear"

Fear of: "what my future" will be

I told my friend about my fear and she comforted me by telling me that I should not be worried...I have lived my life in a "straight" line...that's how she described it.

It's because never in my life did i rebel against my parents

never did i go home wasted

never did i do something that would put my parents and family name in shame

I have achieved some of my dreams already

I brought honors to my parents

and yes, i guess i do traveled my life's journey in a "straight" line

and i think i never have any intention of going in a wrong direction

so why am i scared?

i don't know....

i want to cry...but i am not exactly sure of the reason why should i have tears in my eyes

isn't my life supposed to be alright?

am i?

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Getting past the wall of death

Between life and death is a "huge wall" (that's the way i see it)

and as i think of death, i often wonder what's beyond that "wall"

I feel like i'm standing in front of it and i can't climb it no matter how hard i try...

beyond that wall is the person who i long to see...again

to see if he' alright

to hug him for one last time

and to say "i'm sorry for not being there"

DEATH - the end of life

is it really the end? or just a continuation?

Will it give happiness or sorrow?

Will it really bring peace?

If only i can have a glimpse

If only there's a window or a small door within that wall

If only i can see it with my own eyes

Beyond that wall is a paradise...that's what they say

If it is indeed a paradise

then i must not be afraid getting past the wall of death...

To my friend...from the other side of this wall...

are you okay?

are you happy?

are you in peace?

do you still hear my voice?

will you be waiting for me?

I know we'll see each other again...someday

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To the father of my prince

To Mr. Ryu Sun-woo

Now you are in heaven...

With our creator, surrounded by millions of Angels

You are in more pain or sadness...only happiness

no more darkness

But those who you have left are now sufferring from loneliness and sadness

May you ask an Angel beside you to give comfort and strength to those who you have left behind...especially to Siwon who loved you more than anybody else in this world

Mr. Ryu Sun-woo, thank you so much, for your goodness has been passed to your sons and daughter.

Thank you for raising Siwon to become a fine man with a good heart and unselfish thoughts.

Your final journey has that you're in Heaven... May you served as your children's guide and protector so that they will be able to continue things that you have started...and may they finish their mission in this world with dignity just like you do.

Mr. Ryu will always be remembered and will be in the hearts of many.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Saying goodbye

It is so hard to say goodbye

especially if that means not seeing the person again...forever

when i hear's like seeing the end

but in this life, i am not sure which is harder: saying goodbye or not having the chance to say goodbye at all.

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Things that we lose have its way of coming back to us again

Well, in my case, it was not a thing...but my poodle dog (aga) who got lost yesterday.

This what happened:

Aga and Cholo my two dogs had their baths early Sunday morning. They love to play in our garage after taking a bath...

Our helper who were looking after them was asked to go somewhere...while aga was left in our garage...playing with my old sandals. Cholo on the other hand was too lazy to play and went back to his bed.

All along we thought Aga was just in the garage. Just when I was about to hopped in my car, our helper told me that Aga was nowhere in sight. Panic rising....all four of us (my mom, dad, me and our helper) searched the whole village for our lost dog. Still...he was not found. We decided to report it in the barangay. According to our neighbor, he saw a car stopped in front of our house. My mom then concluded that perhaps Aga was 'dognapped". As i was about to interrogate our neighbor about "the color of the car, model, plate number- just in case he noticed it", another neighbor approached us and told us that he saw a vendor playing with our dog. Now again, we thought that certain vendor kidnapped my precious Aga. I was too angry because there were rumors circulating in our village that vendors often "dognapped" dogs to "kill and eat" or to sell and earn money from it.

That day, we also had to go somewhere to buy some gifts for my mom and dad's friends. All day, we've been thinking about what happened to Aga. we've been hoping and praying that whoever that vendor is, would not kill Aga.

I felt so sad...I prayed and asked God to help Aga find his way home...i made a promise to God (i told Him that i would give up one of my dreams...just as long as i see Aga again) i made that promise because that's how precious Aga is to me...

while on the way home, my Dad spoke suddenly and told us that he wished to see Aga in front of our gate...waiting for us.

I don't know what happened...perhaps yesterday was again an evidence of how powerful a prayer is. No...Aga was not waiting at our gate...for he's already in his bed...sound asleep. But when he heard our voice...he woke up and rushed into my feet. Oh...i didn't know what to mom won me over by hugging Aga first! my Dad too...which he rarely does (hugging dogs)

our helper told us that he did not stop searching for Aga...the rest of the afternoon he went from house to house and searched for our lost dog....well his hard work rewarded him...he saw Aga in a house 5 streets away from us. A young boy found our dog and brought it home with him. He told our helper that he saw a vendor carrying our dog...he told the vendor that he would like to take care of it...the vendor planned to sell it but he gave it to him for free. i strongly believe that there are Angels here on earth.

Besides finding mom and I did the "craziest" thing ever a person who lose a dog would do. While our Dad was busy talking to his friend at the mom and I bought 3 new puppies to get rid of our "sad feeling" We bought a pomeranian, golden retriever and labrador puppies. Those babies are really expensive...i spent my "supposed to be christmas budget" for the year. honestly, we're not sure why we did it...but probably because we thought buying 3 new puppies would erase our feeling of loneliness. "we're crazy" i believe.

guess what? we gave each of them Korean names ^^ cute and funny! our helpers couldn't even pronounced their names yet so they just call them 1, 2 and 3 ^^

now Aga and Cholo are both "kuyas" they took turns playing with their new brother and sisters.

All i can say is: " i didn't know that a feeling of sadness, can easily be replaced with "3 happiness only because "i didn't lose my hope"

and yes...again i agree with Luna lovegood "a thing (or those we love) that we lose has its (their) way of coming back to us again.

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

You're my hero!

I definitely admire Manny Pacquiao. I admire his determination and his strength. He fights hard and he fights not just to win but to give pride to our country. How i wish that more Filipinos will be like him.

How many would do their best...who would fight for their country's sake? To bring honor and more give our country the grandest respect it deserves.

Whenever I see him fight...i see a hero

Also...i can't help but admire this guy for his strong faith in God.

He's not embarrased to pray inside the ring before and after his fight

I know some people who can't even say a little prayer before eating their meals in a restaurant...that's because they think it's too embarrasing!

Well...for me, praying in front of the crowd...kneeling down...and surrendering his "all" to his creator is my definition of a "true man"

a humble deed which earned him the greatest honor a boxer can ever achieve

Pacquiao...You're my hero!

It's all worth it

After my trip

- i got sick
- my foot got hurt
- not had enough sleep

but It's all worth it

What's more important is : I've been there...

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Once in a lifetime...chance


If I’ll have a chance to be with you

I’ll bring you to a place where everything is new

I’ll stop the time and let you be

Whoever you want to be

If I’ll have a chance to be with you

I’ll listen to you eagerly

Talk to me and I’ll hear

All your dreams and your fears

If I’ll have a chance to be with you

I will let you rest for a while

The stars above will make you smile

Count them all and you’ll be fine

If I’ll have a chance to be with you

Let me hold your hand

We can walk in the sand

Trust me, it will be fun

If I’ll have a chance to be with you

I’ll bring you to my world

I’ll share with you my dream

Yes…it is you my prince.

I wrote this poem 8 months ago...and i got several chances already

But i guess, chances are not enough

good things don't last long i guess...time flies when you're having fun as they say

each moment is memorable though...

Appreciation is greater than thank you

Life is indeed a cycle...

whatever happens in the present and will happen in the future has already happened in the past.

I am physically sick right body gave up.

am i happy? definitely I am!

i am tired but i am happy.

shouldn't we all?

well...i guess the reason why i am happy is because somehow what i did for one has been appreciated by many.

appreciation is greater than a mere "thank you"

you can utter a word of thanks without meaning to...

but true appreciation will be more meaningful even without a word of thanks

and knowing that he appreciates...erased all my doubts and tiredness.

I will keep you in my heart....for a long time until i see you again.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

nothing...just a routine

Life is a routine...

i don't know if it's good or bad

but sometimes i wonder...if life is just like a cycle

no end....

Thursday, October 4, 2007

If you hate me

I just don't understand why a certain person who told almost everybody she knew that she hates me kept on:

....visiting my homepage
...checking out my photos
...reading my blogs


...imitating my hobbies and interests (which before she have said that she don't have any interest in all those that i'm doing)
...asking people for my whereabouts
...copying the style of my homepage background
...visiting my favorite sites

I just have one advice to that person: If you hate me, then just leave me alone. Go on with your life...get busy by doing things that you "really" like than trying your best to imitate and wish for the life that you can't have. I don't want to sound so bad...but it's really annoying and very irritating. I don't want to have "2 shadows"...because i know that the other not mine.